Summer camp can be one of the best experiences a kid can
have. But how do you know when your child is ready? Recently,
Dr. Esther Goldberg answered common questions and concerns from
parents. Esther has been a psychologist at Vanier Children's
Services since 2002. She is part of the Early Years Team,
through which she provides psychological services to children in
London, Sarnia, Woodstock, and St. Thomas. Here's what Dr.
Goldberg had to say:
What do you think the optimal age is
for day camp? Sleep away camp?
There is no "optimal" age, as this is going to vary by the
individual. You need to consider more than chronological age
when making this decision. Children who are not emotionally or
developmentally ready to be separated from the family will not
benefit from the experience. Similarly, children who still need a
nap likely won't get one at in a camp experience. Look for signs of
readiness before making a commitment on behalf of your child.
For sleep away camp, it's usually recommended that children be
at least 7 years of age. In general, younger children have
more difficulty adjusting to the longer separations that are
involved in overnight camp experiences. But again, many
children at the age of 7 are not ready for the magnitude of
separation from home and family that overnight camp entails.
Also consider the timing of camp, particularly overnight camp,
for the family as a whole. Going to camp at a time of family
change or stress (e.g. death/illness of a loved one; divorce and/or
custody changes; recent or pending moves) may make the separation
from home more difficult for a child.
What are some of the signs that kids are ready for camp
(day or sleep away)?
A good starting point is a child's expressed desire to attend
camp. This is particularly true for overnight camp. If
the child is asking to go - rather than the parent offering to send
them - they're telling you they're ready.
A child's ability to separate from his or her caregivers is an
extremely important consideration. If a child can't spend the
night away from home at a familiar friend's or relative's home,
they're not going to be able to tolerate the separation of an
overnight camp.
You also need to consider how your child tolerates group
situations. They need to be able to interact appropriately
with peers and follow the directions of authority figures
reasonably well.
For small children, their levels of need/support are
important. If a child is unable to meet their own basic needs
(feeding themselves, independent toileting skills), they need more
of a day-care setting, rather than a camp experience.
Remember, most camp counselors are quite young, get little
training, and are responsible for a group of children at a
time. If your child requires individualized supports, they
likely won't get met in a typical camp setting.
The ability to meet basic needs is also important for older
children at overnight camp. Overnight camp requires children
to have a level of self-sufficiency as they need to take care of
their own things, keep track of belongings, follow schedules, and
so on. And the ability to care for one's own hygiene needs is
a must!
Finally, look to your own feelings about camp. Many
parents have their own anxieties, and can't tolerate the
separations. On the other hand, many adults fondly remember
their own positive camp experiences and are eager for their
children to develop similar memories. Make sure the child
doesn't feel pressured to go before they're ready. They
shouldn't be going to please their parents.
What do you think the benefits are of sleep away
camp?
Sleep away camps provide a range of wonderful
opportunities. They offer children a chance to gain
independence, practical skills, and close
friendships. Children get to interact with nature on a more
intimate level, which can be particularly important for children
raised in urban settings. In addition, some camps are also
organized around talent or skill development. Those settings
allow children to really focus on and grow in an area of interest,
and to connect with peers with whom they share a hobby.
First time campers sometimes become homesick. When
should you wait it out and when should you bring them
home?
Homesickness is a completely normal and expected part of a
separation experience. Brief bouts of it should be expected
and should not be interpreted as a crisis. Really severe
homesickness is rare. However, since the mild forms are
pretty common, the best thing to do is to be proactive and start
preparing before a child leaves for camp.
Practice by having your child do some sleep-away times at
friends' or relatives' homes. Talk with your child about the
fact that some homesickness may occur, and develop some strategies
for dealing with it, such as participating in more activities or
talking to a camp counselor.
Don't make early pick up plans with your child in advance of
camp. If a child asks about coming to get him or her early if
they're unhappy, talk to them about these nervous feelings and
remind them that a bit of homesickness is normal, camp is not a
forever situation, and that they are loved.
Try also to monitor your own statements in advance of the camp
experience. Don't over-emphasize how much a child will be
missed, or how big a void their absence will leave you, the parent,
with. Provide them with positive messages about the coming
experience, rather than additional worries. Tell them that
you'll be thinking of them, but that you know they'll do great
because they're so good at making friends, playing games, climbing
trees... any strength you think will serve them well in that
setting.
What's most important to remember is that love is what underlies
homesickness. It's a nice reminder of the bond that exists
between a child and their home and family.
Do introverted kids often enjoy sleep-away camp? Can it
help them come out of their shells? Or is day camp a better
option?
Introverted kids are not, by definition, anxious
kids. Although anxious, difficult to separate children are not
always the "best fit" for camp, shyer, quieter kids can really
enjoy and benefit from the experience. They may just need some
extra warm up time for it.
Parents need to keep in mind their child's personality when
selecting a camp. Camps with only large group situations may not be
the best fit. However, many camps have a fairly low
staff-to-camper ratio, which can actually provide quite a nice
experience for introverted children.
