The Crisis Intake Team (CIT) is ready for your call.
"The best advice I can give to someone who's in a lot of trouble
both emotionally and physically," says Wendi Waters, "is to ask for
help, wherever you can. Asking for help was one of the hardest
things she ever had to do. But if you don't ask, you'll never
know."
Because she was the product of an abusive, dysfunctional family,
Wendi knew she would likely carry dysfunctional behaviours into her
own parenting. She read everything she could find, and believed the
knowledge gained through books would help her break the cycle of
abuse.
In 1994, Wendi attended parenting classes at the Brighter
Futures Family Center in Hamilton. Despite her best intentions to
stop her destructive behaviour, it wasn't that simple. It was
difficult for Wendi to focus on parenting skills while she and the
girls constantly scrambled for safety and a decent place to
live.
In 1995, with her two daughters in tow, Wendi summoned the
courage to flee an abusive partner. That action created a situation
characterized by constant fear for their safety, severe poverty,
isolation and mental health challenges.
In 1998, Wendi and the girls moved to Second Stage housing in
London. For the first time in four years she felt safe. Desperate
to break the pattern of abuse, and emboldened by a feeling of
security, Wendi sought help. She says, After finishing the
parenting class [in Hamilton] I realized just how much of the
children's well-being rested on my parenting skills.
She pored through the yellow pages for agencies to call. After
six months on the waiting list at Vanier Children's Services they
each started into therapy. It was the turning point for the
family.
The kids began to feel more secure at home. Life started to move
in a better direction because the girls saw their mother seeking
help and practicing what she was learning; she was invested in
their well-being.
At Vanier, Wendi learned more parenting skills and underwent
what she calls re-training as a parent. She knew she couldn't
accomplish it alone. Her own life experience wasn't enough. With
Vanier's help, Wendi learned to separate her adult world from the
children's. The girls learned social skills and how to manage their
issues and fears.
Says Wendi, "When an agency says, "We care about you. We're
going to try and help you in any way we can", you just breathe
easier. There's hope. If it wasn't for Vanier, I would not have had
hope."
How desperate do you have to be to drop off your child at a
social service agency office and walk away? At the very end
of your rope, I would say, a
4th Joint Annual General Meeting
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May 6-10, 2013 CHILDREN'S MENTAL HEALTH WEEK
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KRISTA SEPP MEMORIAL AWARD
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